Current mood:

frustrated

I Just Wanted To Clean the Carpet, That's All I Wanted To Do....
There is a very funny comedian making the circuit and his shtick is that he starts out every routine saying, "I Was Just Trying To....." and then he adds whatever that routine is going to be about. Such as "I was just trying to eat my cereal one morning, that's all I was trying to do. I had my head down, not looking around and all I wanted to do was eat my cereal. Then my wife sat down across from me and let out a big sigh. All I wanted to do was eat my cereal but I knew if I said nothing, it would seem like I was insensitive so I knew I had to at least ask if something was wrong but all I really wanted to do was just finish my cereal."

He goes on to say he reluctantly asked his wife, "Is anything wrong?" to which she sighed again and said,"I'm so fat." Of course this leads into a hilarious bit where he tries to figure out what would be the least "get him in more trouble" thing to say and of course, he has no idea so he says the wrong thing again and again which gets him into even more trouble. He also does a bit about "I was just trying to walk across the room to get the remote....that's all I was trying to do..." and it ends up with him getting in the middle of something going on between his two kids and so on.

Well, as part of my Big Spring Cleaning Project, I was trying to clean the carpet in the living room....that's all I was trying to do. In fact, I hadn't even thought I would get to the carpeting, I thought if I finished the upholstery on the chair and the couch and washed the tapestry runner rug my daughter bought for us two years ago, that would be a job well done and I could tackle the actual floor carpeting tomorrow.

I couldn't find the rug steamer at first which is surprising seeing as its quite large but I finally found it in the basement in back of the litter boxes. When I get the basement cleaned up, I must remember to make a Steam Carpet Cleaner Docking Area. Anyway, there I was in the basement trying to wrestle it out from behind the litter boxes (think very large heavy upright vacuum cleaner) when I heard this rattling noise coming from the dehumidifier. I found out it needed emptying and since I was emptying it anyway, I decided to use the nice soft water from it in the washing machine and run a load of laundry. That accomplished, I dragged the steam cleaner up the basement steps one at a time, backwards, since that was easier on my back. Once I got it to the top, I noticed that someone had left water in it from the last time they used it so I opened the patio door to go dump it outside and two beagles ran out and half a cat. Got my brother's cat, Zeke back in the house and now the Pomeranian puppy, Piper, was trying to go out too since she thinks she's a beagle now and has to be with them all the time. I lift her down and my daughters say they will stay outside and keep an eye on her so I can go work.

Back in the house, I noticed the end of the steam cleaner, the part you put the water in is quite dirty so I spend some time making sure that's all clean and then replacing it and finally, I find the steam cleaner soap and fill the dispenser on the back. Things are going well now, if a bit slower than I would like. This would not last, the going well part.

i spend some time clearing shoes and puppy toys off the runner rug and making sure it's all straightened out and clear of any edges of furniture then decide to plug it in and then wheeling the brute of a machine into the living room where I terrified the puppy. Tony the boy beagle knows what's going to happen and he's scared now and jumps up into the chair to avoid the scary steam cleaner but he misses and falls backwards and lands on the puppy who squeals in pain. The girls take care of this problem and I am ready to connect to some electricity. Now, the Electrical Outlet of Choice is the just inside the bathroom door. This is because it is in a central location to the rest of the house meaning you don't have to unplug and plug in again every time you leave a room and also it is on its own circuit which means you won't trip any breakers by overloading the already overloaded living room circuits. I step over the small Keep The Puppy Out of the Bedrooms Gate that leads to the hallway where the bathroom is and I think to myself, "Doing anything in this house is liking going through an Army Obstacle Course" and plug in the cord and back down the hallway and back over the gate. Finally comes the moment I have been waiting for. I press the POWER button on the steam cleaner and begin to move the steamer back and forth. I stop and peer suspiciously at the rug since it doesn't look a bit wet. Hmmm, what could be wrong?

Just then my husband calls out to me, "Do you care if I play Softball with the church this year?" I reply, "No, not at all. Did you sign up yesterday when they announced it?" What was really running through my mind, in a kind of warp speed sequence was the image of him on a stretcher in the emergency room about 6 years ago with a concussion from tripping over first base and hitting his head on it when he landed. Also going through my mind was how he played softball last year and came home after every single game mad and upset at how the coach only played his best buddy and not the guys who were there for all the practices but heh, if you want to go through that again, go knock yourself out. (maybe that's the wrong choice of words)

By now, I am wondering if any water is coming through the end of the machine at all and since I have to stand behind it to press the water release button, I ask my husband who is standing in front of the machine by the front door to see if he can see any water down that way at all.

"I have to go to softball practice in a minute," he says. "Can't you just look quick like when I turn it on and tell me if you see water at all?" I reply.

He observes for a minute then he says, I think the very bottom plastic part is all clogged up. We take off the water reservoir that I had cleaned out and peer at the next part which is like a hollow clear guard running along the front of the machine and sticking out a bit on both edges. We ponder a bit on how it is supposed to come off and I go to find some screwdrivers before I sit down to start working on the thing. I find my tool kit out in the garage in the midst of cobwebs and take it inside to wash it off and dry it before I proceed to the living room.

For some reason, I assumed my husband had left already and I sat down in front of the machine to see if it needed a Phillips screwdriver or Flathead which I then started to remove from my handy dandy tool kit. All of a sudden, out of the blue comes a big tennis shoe clad foot and then another one stepping over me and grabbing for the machine, jerking it around, which caught it on the edge of my tool kit and cracked off the whole front plastic thing I was just trying to take off. This part is a really important part as it's the part the dirty water gets sucked up through, you can't just do without it. I look up to see my husband with his cordless drill in his hand and a crazed look in his eyes and said, "What are you doing, I thought you left for practice!" I am quite peeved since this is his usual method of fixing things, banging on them, jerking them around and cranking on them until they break.

He peers down at the totally useless machine and the cracked and broken part and says, "I guess we'll have to order a new part. Bye, I'm going to softball practice."

I just wanted to clean the carpet.....that's all I wanted to do....