Current mood:

thoughtful

As Time Goes By
The longer I wander through life, the more I don't feel a part of it. This isn't anything new, I've always felt this way, like a stranger peeping in. There's probably some deep-seated psychological reason for this but I'd rather not know what it is. I'm sure it can't be something normal and nice.

I will try to explain this feeling further.
It's like getting on a bus and seeing every seat filled with two people and knowing no one is going to scoot over to let you sit next to them unless you directly ask. Even worse, when you do directly ask, they say no, sorry, can't sit here. Then you make your way off the bus again, because you don't fit and stand on the curb as the bus full of laughing, talking people pulls away, no one even noticing you're standing there all alone.

You pick up your things and wait patiently for the next bus. You know the same thing will happen again and again but still you stand there and wait. Hoping that eventually you'll fit.